We asked the BuzzFeed Community to tell us the corniest joke they’ve ever heard (and then threw in a few more from Reddit for good measure). Here are the hilarious results.
I saved up money for months to buy a limited-edition thesaurus. But when I opened it, all the pages were blank!
I have no words to describe how angry I am.
Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them?
So that when they return to port, then can Scandinavian.
What did 0 say to 8? “Nice belt.”
A slice of apple pie costs $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas. These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
What kind of pants do ghosts wear?
And if those are dirty, they just wear a paranormal trousers.
Justice is a dish best served cold. Because if it was served warm, it would be justwater.
6:30 is hands down the best time of day.
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C.
Did you hear about the cheese factory in France that exploded?
All that was left was de Brie.
I went to a wedding where two satellite dishes got married.
The ceremony wasn’t great, but the reception was AMAZING.
What do you do if you see a fireman?
Put it out, man.
What do we want? Low-flying airplanes! When do we want them? NeeeeeOOOooowwwww!
Why did the stoplight turn red?
Because it was embarrassed to be changing in the middle of the street!
Why do fish live in salt water?
Because if they lived in pepper water, they would sneeze.
The doctor’s chart said my blood was type-A, but that was a type-O.
A guy strikes up a conversation with a lumberjack that he meets in a bar.
“How many trees do you think you’ve chopped down?” the guy asks.
“Exactly 2,742,” the lumberjack replies.
“How do you know?”
“Because every time I chop one down, I keep a log.”
Wanna hear two short jokes and a long joke?
Joke, joke, joooooooooooooke.
I met some chess players in a hotel lobby. They kept bragging about how good they were.
It was chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
I was eating at a restaurant when the waiter came to my table and said, “I see your glass is empty, would you like another one?”
I said, “Why would I want two empty glasses?”
This article contains content from Kayla Yandoli, Spencer Althouse, Andrew Ziegler, and Andy Golder. It was compiled by Laura Frustaci.