A plus Sherpa “bedtime bear” hand-filled with calming lavender if you know your baby has trouble sleeping when you’re not home.
An interactive treat maze for high-energy cats who could use a lil’ mental stimulation. It even has three levels of difficulty — beginner, intermediate and top-cat — so you can switch things up as their hunting skills improve.
A chicken-flavored nylon antler that your pup will enjoy just as much as the real thing (it has ridges that massage their gums!), but even better — you won’t have to worry about them swallowing any splintered shards that could wreak havoc on their digestive system.
A Chewy Goody Box because what’s better than a single new toy? A whole dang box of new toys and treats!
A faux-snakeskin shirt if your cat watched Zoolander with you *ONCE* and now they’re obsessed with doing whatever it takes to become a top model.
A triangular tug-o’-war toy for serious — and I mean serious — chewers. Get a good grip or you’ll risk having your shoulder thrown out, ya hear?
A three-tier cat toy with polka-dotted balls they can bat at. One of my cats puts her arms on both sides and essentially plays a modified version of tetherball just with herself.
A ChuckIt! ball launcher for pups who are *always* game to make fetch happen. Plus, this way, you don’t have to pick up slobbery balls. It’s a win-win.
A tunnel bed if your bb’s love for toys is only surpassed by one other thing: sleep.
A cupcake-shaped Mickey Mouse Halloween plushie for pups whose favorite way to spend the day is watching Disney+ just like their pawrents.
A pack of all-natural matabi chew sticks — a catnip alternative that’s somehow even more tantalizing than anything they’ve tried before.
A feathered Christian Cowan x Maxbone jumper if they’ve decided to try their hand (err, paw) at haute couture styles after marathoning Sex and the City with you.
A floppy robotic fish that only moves when your cat or dog interacts with it. Once they get the hang of it, I guarantee they’ll be karate chopping, slapping, and bunny kicking the ish out of it.
A color-blocked hoodie in cotton candy shades just as sweet as all the human treats they *wish* they could eat but can’t. Alas, you can throw a Milk-Bone their way and they’ll be justttt as happy.
A plush anti-anxiety donut bed with a raised rim that keeps your baby feeling nice and secure. The fluffy material also mimics fur, so it feels like they’re cuddling their mom.
A trusty supersized box of Greenies in oven-roasted chicken flavor because if there’s one thing your cat loves more than endless pets and lovies, it’s the sweet, sweet sound of a shaken treat container.
A plush “Barkin” bag with a pup-approved addition: a squeaker, of course! Luckily, if they rip this purse apart it only costs $15 as opposed to $15,000+ for the real thing.
An exercise wheel your kitty can turn to whenever they get the zoomies (aka every night at 3 a.m.).
A catnip-filled carrot your fur child can bunny kick as hard as it wants. That way, your arm (or other cat) can catch a break.
A matching bandana and scrunchie so you can pull off a stylish mommy- (or daddy-) and-me outfit even when you’re apart. And, when you’re together, chances are slim you’ll run into someone else wearing the same thing since each set is handmade.
An interactive feather and mouse game that’s basically like Whac-A-Mole for your cat. Lucky for them, they don’t have to hunt down a carnival or pay $5 a pop to play.
A rhinestone-studded tracksuit for those days when they wanna take it back to the early aughts and go for a Paris Hilton/Nicole Richie The Simple Life look.
A window hammock with suction cups strong enough to hold 50 pounds. If you’re thinking that seems like a lot, just consider how quickly the weight of multiple cats, a blanket, their favorite toys, and a pillow adds up.
A banana-shaped bed for the pet who loves “hiding” under blankets and in cardboard boxes. The top flap — or, if we’re talking anatomically, the peel — offers them a private and enclosed space to nap.
A laptop-shaped scratcher if the last few years of WFH life have led your cat to believe that they *too* have a 9 to 5.
A spherical Tuft + Paw hideout with a faux-fur blanket just your cat’s size. If your bb is anything like mine, they’ll hang out in there until you walk by at perfect swatting distance.
A smart pet sofa so if you live with roommates or partners who have a “no dogs on the furniture” rule, your pup will still have a comfy place of their own.
A catnip-filled fortune cookie so Kitty Purry can take part in takeout nights as well. Her fortune? The always sage “blame it on the dog.”
A “Woof Clicquot” plushie for the pup with champagne tastes. If you’re working on a beer budget, you’ll also be happy to know it’s only 13 bucks.
A UFO-shaped cat box that not only looks stellar, but prevents your kitty baby from kicking litter all over the dang place. TBH this is more a gift for you but, I mean, c’mon!
A coffee table cat condo if your fur babies are already prone to crawling all over your furniture anyways. Now at least, they’ll have a designated spot — in the form of a built-in condo — that’s just theirs.
A leather doggie sofa that’s just as posh as your couch, and don’t worry about stains or scratches — they’ll buff right out with regular use! Oh and BTW…it has a freakin’ memory foam base that’s probably just as comfortable as your mattress.
A macramé cat hammock so visually arresting, it may just convince your fur baby to give up the Amazon box they’ve been calling home for the last month. Since it’s made out of a bunch of strings, I don’t see how they wouldn’t at least be intrigued.
A mouse-shaped feeder that will keep your cat on their toes by encouraging their natural hunting instincts. Fill it up with food, hide it somewhere in the house, and then let them loose.
A snuggly tiger or puppy plushie for lonely little babies, grieving senior cats and dogs, and every sensitive pet in between. The behavioral aid has a “real feel” pulsing heartbeat and it comes with a disposable heating patch (you slip it inside the stuffed animal’s tummy) that will keep it warm for up to 24 hours.
A zebra-print activity mat that looks exactly like a baby play mat and that just tickles me pink. If your kitten could use some tummy time, the attached hanging toys will keep them entertained.
And a carton of maple bacon doggie ice cream to reward them after the traumatic experience that was simply existing for 48 hours without you.
Your dog faking being sad now that they know they can benefit from it:
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